|

|

| I skipped school today. I stared out of the window, enjoying the cool rainy breeze and thought to myself, what am i doing? I dont enjoy school but i still go for the sake of going (partially also cause im forced to go) But school isnt supposed to be a place of fun, its supposed to be a place of study. Studying aint fun, only nerds say studying is fun. I dont even like my school, i have no motivation to go to school, some ppl go to school cause of their EC while some go because of their friends/gfs/bfs. I know im not the only one who is feeling like this but i just cannot take this anymore. Im just causing heartache for myself, its draining me emotionally day by day. I might just drop dead one day or just go insane. I really value the days that i skip school, it lets me reflect about life and give it some thought. I envy the people who are having fun in their jcs/polys. I for one, have given up, given up hope in studying in this jc.

| I cant post pictures, i dont know. Must be blogger screwing up again.I'll just do a short post, my weekends were spent doing NOTHING, literally nothing.This always happens when my mom is overseas, the next time she is overseas, i should organise a party! My saturday night was spent catching with friends whom i have not seen for 5 or almost 6 months. It was nice catching up, talking about school mostly.Sometimes u just tend to neglect your other friends when you are spending so much time with school and your new found friends. It really makes u wonder sometimes who your true friends are. There is school tomorrow and im dreading to go to school already. I doubt this June holidays will be any more interesting. I dont exactly have the most fun bunch of friends in school. I always thought JC life would be so fun, with people being more open minded, partying alot, drinking. I guess i was wrong, it was just this image that i created for myself, to deceive myself, to make myself happy. I read about other people's lives and look at my own, my life isnt exactly fruitful and exciting. I want to change but how? Should i start finding new friends to mix around with? I cant seem to find anyone who can fit into the category of 'cool' who do the things that i imagined most JC people to be doing. Sigh.

| Schools been a real BITCH. I fucking hate teachers who pick on students.
They make the school environment so much more...FUCKED UP.
Im not going to be a fool anymore, letting teachers push me around and treat me like dirt.
Im gonna tell that bloody teacher off and show her i mean business.
Im not going to procrastinate anymore and have no balls to stand up for myself.
For the past few days its been hell for me, rage and anger filled within me, these teachers really getting into my head, pissing me off. I think thats exactly what the teachers wanna do to me, make me real pissed and get into my head, playing their fucking mind games with me.
If i dont tell them how i really feel, i dont think i can continue living my life happily or peacefully.
IF I DONT TELL THEM HOW I REALLY FEEL, IM NOT DANIEL! MDM JESS WONG, IM SO GOING AFTER YOUR FUCKING LIFE, U MAKE MY LIFE DIFFICULT, I MAKE YOUR LIFE DIFFICULT, SIMPLE AS THAT! (:

*On a side note: i love rainy days, the pace of life seems to turn down a notch, enjoying the cool breeze and sleeping with the windows wide open of course. Ahh pure bliss...

| School is getting from bad to worse to even WORSER!
Whats the big deal of not going to school? My mom seems to make such a big fuss out of it, that she even threatened to withdraw me out of school if i were to be absent from school again. I guess i deserved it but i just see no point in going to school, no purpose at all. I myself find it so irritating that im constantly complaining and regretting the decisions i made. I should just fucking kill myself. I cant believe its May already and June is approaching. Im not really looking forward to the holidays as im still going to be stuck in school half of the time with make up lessons to prepare us for the mid year exams (to me its of no use). Even though i may be going to Bali for a short 4 days trip, after that short 4 days its back to constant pestering from teachers, friends, parents to start mugging and stop procrastinating. I really think im not suited for the jc life or even the poly life. I just dont like studying! I realised that my blog entries are usually negative and forever complaining about my fucked up life but i guess thats really all my life is about. I dont have such a happening life, i have no gf, i rarely 'hang out', i dont party, my school is just as boring, so im guessing my life is just boring. I dont seem to have anything interesting or unique that i can blog about that will entice readers into wanting to come back and read, hell my blog doesnt even have pictures!
I'll just end off with something my friend found off the internet.
http://thebigview.com/pastlife/
My past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Egypt around the year 700. Your profession was that of a builder of houses, temples and cathedrals.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:Ruthless character, carefully weighing his decisions in critical situations, with excellent self-control and strong will. Such people are generally liked, but not always loved.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:Your lesson is to study, to practice and to use the wisdom that lies within the psychological sciences and in ancient manuscripts. With strong faith and hard work you will reach your real destiny in your present life.

| Fuck! I just typed a bloody long post and i got back a 'page cannot be displayed'
Now im real pissed. Pissed with blogger, with school, with everything!
Now this post is gonna be short. I go thru life everyday, dreading to go to school.
Day in day out the same old boring shit. I should really skip school more often.
I see no point in going to school, i learn nothing or maybe its just me. I have NO motivation to go to school. As much as i have friends there, they arent exactly a motivating factor to me. I go to school, spend half of my day there, come home, eat dinner, surf the net a little and then im gone.
Its this tiredsome and boring cycle that i go thru everyday that i really appreciate the weekends more than ever. I also really love the days where i just take an off day from school and get a mc from a polyclinic. I dont have jc life, i hate SRJC. The school to me is crap, the teachers are horrible, they pick on me every single day. Constantly barking at me to study and not slack anymore. I myself am tired of slacking already cause there is no one to slack with! Then it just defeats the purpose of slacking! Its so dumb to slack alone! Im more pissed at the school than anything, i was stupid to have come to srjc. It is one of THE WORST JCS EVER! The only way i supress my anger and to make myself happy is to read up on other people's lives. Usually those from the other better jcs which i have always wanted to go. I read their blogs just to make myself jealous of them and at the same time feel happy for them, that they are not stuck in a crap school like i am. They seem to be having so much fun in their jcs while I am dreading to go to mine. I guess its just a facade that i create for myself just to make myself happy, its like seeing that other people are happy, im happy for them. I wish i could be happy WITH them more than for them. Now i just regret not studying for my 'O' levels and scoring a 9 pts. In the end, i get a 17 and end up nowhere, with my score being so in the middle for jc i end up going to a jc like SRJC. No use regretting now i guess, if i fail my promos at the end of the year and dont end up in j2, i'll most probably go to poly if the government allows or if not, army here i come. It beats staying at SRJC where im wasting my precious youth away. If only i had gone to ACS(I), then i would have been a different story.

|